Thursday, 17 January 2013

A POEM FOR GAZA by REMI KANAZI


I never knew death
until I saw the bombing
of a refugee camp
craters
filled with
dismembered         legs
and splattered   torsos
but no sign of a face
the only impression
a fading scream

I never understood pain
until a seven-year-old girl
clutched my hand
stared up at me
with soft brown eyes
waiting for answers

I didn’t have any
I had muted breath
and dry pens in my back pocket
that couldn’t fill pages
of understanding or resolution

in her other hand
she held a key
to her grandmother’s house
but I couldn’t unlock the cell
that caged her older brothers
they said:
we slingshot dreams
so the other side
will feel our father’s presence!

a craftsman
built homes in areas
where no one was building

when he fell
silence

a .50 caliber bullet
tore through his neck
shredding his vocal cords
too close to the wall
his hammer
must have been a weapon
he must have been a weapon
encroaching on settlement hills
and demographics

so his daughter
studies mathematics

seven explosions
times
eight bodies
equals
four congressional resolutions

seven Apache helicopters
times
eight Palestinian villages
equals
silence and a second Nakba

our birthrate
minus
their birthrate
equals
one sea and 400 villages re-erected

one state
plus
two peoples
…and she can’t stop crying

never knew revolution
or the proper equation
tears at the paper
with her fingertips
searching for answers
but only has teachers
looks up to the sky
to see Stars of David
demolishing squalor
with Hellfire missiles

she thinks back
words and memories
of his last hug
before he turned and fell
now she pumps
dirty water from wells
while settlements
divide and conquer
and her father’s killer
sits beachfront
with European vernacular

this is our land!, she said
she’s seven years old
this is our land!
she doesn’t need history books
or a schoolroom teacher
she has these walls
this sky
her refugee camp

she doesn’t know the proper equation
but she sees my dry pens
no longer waiting for my answers
just holding her grandmother’s key
searching
for ink

HOW TO SPEAK TURKISH FLUENTLY :D




Recently, i don't know why, i felt bit dissapointed of myself, because i have been living in Turkey for almost 4 months! and i still couldn't speak Turkish well.Even some of my Turkish friend said that my Turkish is quite good as a beginner but I still not feel satisfied with it :x .my Afganistan friend said that she could speak Turkish well after 2 months she stayed in Turkey.im feeling challenged :P but  thats right, i don’t know how 'well 'it is. Of course for now its impossible for me to speak like a native speaker, I’m not hoping for that, but at least i could speak better than now. but I will never lose hope! its a baby steps! inshallah i still can do more and more efforts to improve my third language! Allah is giving me a lot of chances , and i must use every single chances He is giving me, and for all my friends out there, who are struggling for their Turkish too, let us look at those 20 steps, so that all of us could get benefits from it and will able to speak Turkish fluently soon insallah :D amin.  I wrote it based on my experiences but some of the points  I got from the articles that I’ve read from some blogs :")  

1)      Identify your real intentions in learning the language. If you have big targets, for example, you want to be a  doctor, and you are going to study medicine in Turkish, so that’s why you have to learn the language seriously. Or maybe at the same time , you really interest to be a freelance translator. You wish to translate Turkish books in your mother tongue. Or you want to be part time tour guider, you will need the language, or you wanna be a writer or so on. So this targets will push you to learn it for the sake of God

2)      Read the Turkish book for children 
-When we start learning a new language, we must start from the lowest level right? Just like in a kindergarten. So when we are learning Turkish, we must do the same. If we are a Turkish beginner, but will we be able to read a Turkish novel or the literature books? Surely not right. Because they use high level of language. So its good for us the beginner to read the story book for children, because the words they are using must be easier so that small children could understand well. So now, we are that ‘small children’, and let us try to read those books. At first we will feel very lazy to translate every single words but remember whats your real aim, you want to learn that language. If even a children book you feel lazy to read, what if other books that you must read to get your degree in university ? think wisely



3)        Listen to the Turkish cartoon, radio,TV any audio

I have some website links if you want to watch the Turkish cartoon,even some of the cartoons are not the real product of Turkey, but at least they had transferred the language into Turkish.


At first, you will find them speaking maybe too fast, but at least you will be able to catch some words that you have heard and learnt .
You can also listen to Turkish pilmisuer mp3 audio.its really help


Pay a lot of attention to learning the correct pronunciation. You wouldn’t like to sound like a foreigner or to grate on my interlocutors’ ears

4)        Setting long-term and short-term goals
try to have mini-goals that you can achieve in a very short time.
ex: short term goal- to be able to speak well (lancar)  even slowly within 4 months
 

5)      Having a good and passionate tutor or an equally passionate study partner can sometimes   make all the difference.With self-study alone I could not achieve a thinking level of Turkish.

6)      Search for the websites in internet that could help you in Turkish .for ex to do the exercises, and you could also have online Turkish teacher to help you with your personal homeworks. For ex try to make your own homework by making new sentences of the verbs that u just got and ask the teacher to check them. I do have my own online Turkish teacher that I knew from internet. But make yourself  more often ya’ni constantly, istiqamah with your own homework because sometimes I do forgot them and do other things.


 

7)      Talk to the Turkish native speaker even in internet. I have a lot of Turkish penpals and I tried to speak with them in Turkish even I know how bad my Turkish is :P before this I speak only English with them but once I speak Turkish, I don’t wanna speak English, because they always help me by correcting me when I got false in my Turkish communications.and sometimes they even teach me the street language :P because I wanna know it. But better to learn the normal Turkish first :D

8)      Try to translate the advertisements or any signboards that you’ve seen by the roadsides

9)       Try to get as much frustrating study work out of the way as you can in your home country; especially phrases and vocabulary; this will allow you to take advantage of the country and locals themselves for practise

10)  Get yourself an inexpensive phrasebook to keep in your pocket/purse to take out and study in little 2-minute windows during the day whenever you have to wait.Jot down every single new words that just cross on your mind and try to memorize them.
Make sure you have your own dictionary!! Its very hard if you don’t have your own and need to borrow from others in class

11)  Use funmemory techniques to not forget all of those new words you are learning.for ex ones you get the new words, try to make new sentences by using that word,and soon in your communication with your friends, you can use that words and inshaallah you will get used to it.

12) Try to think back the words that you had memorised when you have nothing to do. For ex before you go to bed for sleep

13) Listen to Turkish songs might help you especially when you try to understand the lyrics. And make sure jot down the new vocabularies that you might get from the song lyrics. I have been listening to songs by Emre Aydin and Baris Manco :P

14) Not to focus too much on grammar in the early stages. Just like when you are learning English. Its ok if you have mistakes on grammar, the most important is your confidents to use the knowledges that you have about the languages and speak

    Focussing on grammar too much in the early stages is a huge mistake in the academic approach. speak as much as possible and you need words and phrases for this,Study grammar after you can communicate a little and it will be much more interesting and help you “tidy up” what you’ve got

15)-      DO NOT speak English or any other languages that you had always speak. Not speaking English is a decision you have to make as soon as possible if you want to learn as quickly as possible.try to speak fully in turkish, just when you dont know or dont remember the word, you are allowed to speak other language but make sure after that you search back in your dictionary to know what the word means in turkish

16)   Don’t wait until you are “ready”, because you may never consider yourself ready. Just speak!

 
17)  But if you find that some natives prefer to speak to you in English, there are lots of ways to convince them to help you. But when you are socialising with them, keep in mind that you don’t need to drink to be able to speak the language.

18) When learning the language with a computer handy, you can use Google Image instead of a dictionary and use Google itself to correct your grammar
    For ex you wanna learn the fruits’, vegetables’ , foods’ names in Turkish, then you can use the google images.this technique used by my teachers in my Turkish class in TOMER
    

19) Try to communicate with the locals. for example when you go to the market,make sure use the knowledges that already had on your mind. for example if you wanna buy the onions, do not just point your finger on the onions to the seller to show that you want that. 'at least you could say something like ' bir kilo soğan alabilir misiniz? ". just speaak! your mouth wanna say out that in turkish but your mind sometimes refused to :P

20) Try not to take it too seriously and have fun with your language!




That’s all that I could share for now, if you have any other ideas, kindly to drop a comment that I could get the new knowledges :D




Sunday, 18 November 2012

GAZA :"(




It had been 6  days straight Israeli (IDF) had its attacked on Gaza. Eventhough actually almost everyday people died in Palestine because of their inhumanitary acts, but the societies seemed like didn’t hear anything since the media had been blocked from releasing most of the news. I first heard about the latest massive attack on Gaza last Wednesday, when I dropped  down my Gazan friend’s profile on Facebook. I had been told that the Israeli were planning to cut all the connections including internet for the people in Gaza.They really don’t have the right to do so! What a cruelness they had made! 

تدمير عدة مقار حكومية وجسر الوادي ومنزل مستشار هنية .. 138 شهيد منذ بدء العدوان


During the class break, I immideately told my classmate from Gaza, Ghada about the news. She was very shocked and said ‘ how can I contact my family??’.She said 6 muslims were shaheed during the last explosions which were just located at the roadside ,nearby to her home .I told her my Gazan friend just told me it was 12, and more than 100 injured!. Ghada is the eldest from 5 siblings. Her parents and 4 younger brothers and sisters are living in Gaza, but I’m not sure in which part.She had her degree studies at AlQuds University, Jerusalem. I could feel what she was feeling , she just left Palestine a month ago for Turkey, for having jihad on her  Master studies, and now,pity her, she must be very worried of her family whom she had just left .




After our Turkish lessons, she told me that she was going to Kizilay which located about 10 minutes from our TOMER centre to contact her family in Gaza, since there’s an only place that she knew to call her family in Gaza by using a telephone card. She said the last time she talked with her family was 2 days before that. But had able to talk for about one minute only because of the connections cutted.I think its not fair for her since I could contact my family for almost everyday and chatted for hours…huhu..She was absent on that evening class and also for the next day. I was veryyy worry because I still didn’t know her family’s conditions, and she didn’t came to school.I’m sure there must be something that’s so hard for her.When I was about to returned home, Alhamdulillah I saw her at the metro station. She was waiting for me to ask for that day homework. 



Once I saw her, I asked her about her family’s conditions and Alhamdulillah she said that they are fine. They are now living in a room since the exploded places just surrounding them. Ghada said that she could heard the sound of explosions through the phone.I could imagine since I just watched videos of the explosions in the class.Just through the earphone my eardrum already vibrated! I couldn’t imagine if I’m in the real locations! I still vividly remembered the last Israel massive attacks on Gaza on 2008. I was just 14 at that time, everyday I read the news about the sad news.But before this I never had such feelings. I know that people being killed in Palestine but I just made du’a for them.But this time,I’m feeling so near to Palestine, not just because im living here in Turkey but because I do have my close  friend who are now staying in Gaza! Within this week,almost every hours I open my Facebook to ensure he is online to know how his and his family conditions. He came to Turkey for a stuff about a month ago and we had planned to meet. Unfortunately ,we didn’t have the chances  until he went back to Gaza about 2 weeks ago. I’m feeling terribly sad since he’s now truly in dangerous conditions.I don’t wanna lost my beloved friend since he had opened my mind about the Palestinian issues since long time ago. 






Before the Israeli started the missiles on Gaza this week, I’ve asked him about how the condition in Gaza because of the media silence,I didn’t know the real facts happening there. He kept saying that the condition always in dangerous . Last Thursday, I got a message from him that he was in a veryyyyyyyy dangerous condition.  And he asked me to keep praying for Gaza and asked me for forgiveness because he said he knew that he will leave. Tears can’t stop rolling down on my cheeks. Last Saturday night ,after a long waiting, I got a message from him saying that ‘its very dangerous. we are under attack, in my village, my streets’.Mixed feelings surrounded me thinking of the situations there and upcoming exams. I asked my friends to pray together for my friend and all people in Gaza. On Sunday morning, I saw the news that number of people being killed had increased to 45! I was thinking of my friend and his family after got the last message from him last night!! Alhamdulillah hours after that, I saw him appear online, means that he is still alive..I believe that Allah had arranged every single things and inşallah He will create a miracle towards Palestine! 


I still remember I had an Israeli friend in a penpal site which I had joined since I was just 9. I don’t remember her name but her nickname is something like ‘ even yehuda’. She’s from Haifa if im not mistaken. We were not too close but we had talked before , sharing our similar teenager interests. Years later, I didn’t seen her appear much on that side.Until last year, I saw her profile back. I was very shocked when I saw her writings on her profile that she had joined the Israel Defence Force (IDF). I always heard about IDF before after the attacks on Gaza. But I haven’t heard that women also took part. In her posts, she was saying that she was very proud of her country, Israel, which one of the most powerful countries in the world, the modern nuclear technologies and whatsoever! There were some men in the sites who kept debating with her about the issue and she kept defending her ‘beloved’ country.She seemed had a verryyyy strong spirits of her country. Until now, I had lost contact with her since im sure she had removed me from her friend list.I don’t feel sad even a bit! But I’m trying to search for her profile back to see the notes posted by her regarding the issues.

             



         


Last Saturday, as usual I kept reading about the latest news about Gaza in Gaza TV News page in Facebook. And also several pages such Team Palestina, Press TV and Harry Fear. Harry Fear is a British activist and journalist who are currently in Gaza for reporting news. I listened to his recorded audios by this week about the situations there. Sometimes he appeared online , and also kept saying about the poor internet connection there. Last Friday night he posted a video of him in the CrossWalk show , where he debated with the Jews(I don’t remember who was him) in Washington and another person in New York. 



Harry kept defending the Palestinians and said that the Israeli had killed innocents civilians including the women and kid . He said he did talk to a Gazan whom said ‘I’m willing to invite the Israeli to stay in my house if they stop the attack Gaza ’. He never agreed with the Jews man  who said that Israel trying to get the peace and complained about the Hamas ‘extremists’ who had their LITTLE handmade missiles towards Tel Aviv .Israel don’t want the peace, but they just wanna get the title ‘Great Israel’ by conquering some of middle east countries after they reach their goal to conquer Gaza! Harry knows that they are trying to defence themselves after the Israeli had their attacked on Palestine since looooong time ago  starting from 1948 (Nakbah). May Allah protect him from the attacks for being soooo kind and guide him to the right path. He has a lot of supporters in Facebook who keep praying for him .Maşallah.




Last Sunday morning, I saw a post on my Gazan friend’s profile. It was a 20 seconds video which took LIVE by him . A building which just located about 300 meters from his locations exploded due to the airstrikes fell. It was a veryyyyy loud explosions. And sounds of people talking something in Arabic which I could hardly understand could be heard.


I just saw a post which was posted about 7 minutes before in the TV News page. Until now, (Monday.,9 am) the death toll has risen to 90 and about 700 injured including 6 journalist whom one of them had lost his one leg. Nau’dzubillah…

                                 

Let us never stop praying for our brothers and sisters in Gaza, and also Syria because a du’a may cause a change even a little. Keep believing of His power. Eventhough we feel we are living far from them, and we don’t feel much what they are feeling, we couldn’t be ignorant by not making dua for them since they are still part of our family members since we are living in the same world!
Its not only because of the religion issues, but also the Human Right issues!
I admit I’m not a good writer but I’m just trying to expose what are currently rounding in my mind and inşallah it might benefits others. Teşekkurler, Assalamu alaikom.

Saturday, 3 November 2012

FIRST DAY AT TÖMER CLASS


When I put my first step in the TOMER centre, Gazi University at Maltepe, I was like wow! Finally I came here. I kept surfing in the internet about the place and never thought of having chances to study there after had been informed that  I might be placed in other universities for TOMER. What's TOMER actually meant? Türkçe Öğrenim,Araştırma Ve Uygulama Merkezi. There are a lot of TOMER centres,which are  institutions to teach Turkish as a foreign language to the foreigners. Since i'm gonna study medicine in Turkish inshaallah, i need to attend TOMER class for 8 months . Inshaallah if everything going smoothly. I’d dreamt that I’m gonna study TOMER in other cities, I really don’t mind, at least I could feel  different way of lives between there and Ankara , since I’m gonna study medicine in Ankara. But, He had arranged every single things and I’m sure that this is the best for me.

                                                      where i'm having turkish lessons :D


Ok. On that Thursday morning, I came sharp at 9.00 am by Ankaray. Ankaray is like a KTM in Malaysia.. maybe.lolz..Alhamdulillah I’ve learnt to go there alone because i need to be more independent after this since im gonna study here for years inshaallah. I went to the office to ask for which  class I should attend. I asked one of the uncle, trying to explain to him by using English and bahasa isyarat.lolz. Then I told him, ‘sorry, Türkçe bilmiyorum’, which means ‘ I don’t  know Turkish’. He then replied me ‘ Ingilizce bilmiyorum!!” .im sure you can expect whats the meaning. haha. Both of us then laughed. He brought me downstairs to another office, and asked me to check my name on the list. Then he gave me an envelope which I could understand needed to give to the emniyet if I want to make the ikamet (residence permit). I do understand but then he asked a boy, who was sitting on the chair to translate to me in English. He seems know English a little. Then I talked to him to make it clearer. The uncle asked me to follow him to the class, and I finally entered my class, T-6.the boy from Afganistan. Soon after that, some students got into the class. We asked for each other for our backgrounds. The other boy from China. I asked him ‘China?’ coz I didn’t expect that he is from China .i cant predict but he looks like a malaysian or somewhere from around Malaysia. Finally he said that he is fom Uyghur. I was like wow! Again! Lolz. My sisters told me that she has a lot of friend from Uyghur at Egypt and I cant believe that I’ll have friends from Uyghur, not one but four for now :D and another girl from Georgia. I never had even a penpal from Georgia.i always heard about the country but I thought its somewhere around Norway or Sweden .my geography getting worse lol. Georgia is actually located near to Armenia and Azerbaijan. Its about between Russia and Turkey. Its also known as Gurcistan in Türkçe. What attracted me most is, I was the only one who won’t able to speak Turkish! They already knew Turkish and spoke Turkish to each other. I’m trying to make myself feel better and assume that later there must be students who are coming who do not speak Turkish, just like me 10 Minutes after that, a teacher got into the class.her name is Sera. She was very sporting and cherish. She thought four of us about the Turkish alphabet. I’ve learnt it before by myself but it’s a bit different from my previous pronunciation. Now I know how to pronounce all the letters well Alhamdulillah. Time after time, another student got into the class. She is Palestinean but living in Jordan. Next, 3 students got it. 2 girls also from Uyghur and another girl from Algeria.

                                                          arkadaşlarım :)


 I’d been told that the TOMER lesson will be fully in Turkish but I never thought its too fully in Turkish. 

                                                          my turkish books..
The next teacher, named Serhat was very funny when he made all the reactions based on the alphabet to make us understand. What I love most about the TOMER lessons, eventhough it starts at 9 am and end at 4 pm, we do have break for every  45 minutes. That won’t make us feel bored and sleepy in the class. The break is about 15 minutes and in the afternoon, we have break for an hour for having lunch and namaz (solat). The first lunch, me and my classmates were about to have lunch at the café since we had been told that there was a café for students. Unfortunately, there was a very long queu to get the food. Then, they decided to have lunch at the restaurant outside the campus. Our friend from Uyghur , his 3 friends , the Algerian, the Jordanian, 2 girls from Uyghur and me went to a restaurant nearby. We ordered tavuk sandwiches for 9 of us and çay. Now I know that some of them are going to another university for example in Erzurum. Most of them are going to pursue  their studies for Master and PHD and I thought I was the only undergraduate student. I heard about Erzurum and I just remembered that it was a city where Fethullah Gulen was born. They kept saying that Erzurum is very beautiful city, and the people are very Islamic and friendly until they couldn’t explain how ‘mashaAllah’ they are :D Now,Erzurum is already in my list for places that I want visit in Turkey  .ok a lot of things need to be wrote actually. But all the experiences I had are not enough to be shown just by writing.